3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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