oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize