thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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