Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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