...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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