I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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