Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
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Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
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Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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