dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
