I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I am midnight drunk by noon
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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