I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
