well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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