come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Meeting girls and telling em you have no hair on your calves is not an acceptable pick up line
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Oh my god. I slept with my boyfriend last night. It was wonderful.
And when I say my boyfriend I mean my electric blanket. Because that's the kind of life I lead.
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Randomize
