the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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