I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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