i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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