i will never coherently bang her
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
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