i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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