Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize