he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
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We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
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She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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