Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
