I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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