i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
