Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
MIDGETS
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Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
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