saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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