I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Randomize
