i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
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