Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
