just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
Randomize
