Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
