She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
