Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Sex to movie scores is my best choice of the year. You've had an orgasm but have you had an orgasm with an entire orchestra.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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