I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
