did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
