I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Randomize
