When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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