It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Randomize