Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
