Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
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