is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Boobs are out for the taking
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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