I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Randomize
