He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
