we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
oh great. kentucky is ranked #1 in the country for child abuse. go us.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
