her vagine was all disorganized.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize
