i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
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