Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
