actually, I'm a sock model
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
you used progresso chicken soup as a mixer last night
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it