Texts From Last Night

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  (647): View more from Ontario

  fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack

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  (647): fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack http://tfl.nu/ix39
  Replies (21) Good night (1149) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (315): View more from New York

  The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months

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  (315): The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months http://tfl.nu/leur
  Replies (27) Good night (3221) Bad night (623)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.

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  (661): It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing. http://tfl.nu/ex7a
  Replies (116) Good night (11697) Bad night (1905)
• Favorite

  (419): View more from Ohio

  I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.

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  (419): I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight. http://tfl.nu/kz23
  Replies (46) Good night (8831) Bad night (1347)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...

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  (908): i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer... http://tfl.nu/lulm
  Replies (8) Good night (7373) Bad night (1150)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!

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  (512): On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!! http://tfl.nu/5462
  Replies (2) Good night (2360) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (317): View more from Indiana

  Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.

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  (317): Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success. http://tfl.nu/9gb8
  Replies (9) Good night (3891) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light

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  (240): To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light http://tfl.nu/8hcx
  Replies (7) Good night (1516) Bad night (1959)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.

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  (469): Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved. http://tfl.nu/jqlw
  Replies (14) Good night (891) Bad night (2825)
• Favorite

  (773): View more from Illinois

  in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.

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  (773): in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already. http://tfl.nu/yc7m
  Replies (9) Good night (1815) Bad night (637)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.

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  (512): Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants. http://tfl.nu/4z6l
  Replies (7) Good night (822) Bad night (1321)
• Favorite

  (418): View more from Quebec

  I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC

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  (418): I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC http://tfl.nu/grmc
  Replies (12) Good night (926) Bad night (1443)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.

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  (724): I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick. http://tfl.nu/1sdq
  Replies (9) Good night (896) Bad night (298)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass

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  (262): I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass http://tfl.nu/astu
  Replies (3) Good night (496) Bad night (373)
• Favorite

  (256): View more from Alabama

  I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants

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  (256): I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants http://tfl.nu/gsua
  Replies (1) Good night (534) Bad night (218)

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