Texts From Last Night

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  (516): View more from New York

  It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.

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  (516): It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch. http://tfl.nu/fh6f
  Replies (9) Good night (6249) Bad night (727) Order T-Shirt
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  (817): View more from Texas

  I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?

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  (817): I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf? http://tfl.nu/ht45
  Replies (15) Good night (3959) Bad night (896) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?

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  (248): Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on? http://tfl.nu/rmsb
  Replies (8) Good night (1211) Bad night (3415) Order T-Shirt
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  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head

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  (262): i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head http://tfl.nu/xp32
  Replies (22) Good night (4600) Bad night (950) Order T-Shirt
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.

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  (906): Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already. http://tfl.nu/ar92
  Replies (12) Good night (3584) Bad night (1570) Order T-Shirt
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge

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  (203): just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge http://tfl.nu/b456
  Replies (10) Good night (873) Bad night (6715) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..

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  (978): He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet.. http://tfl.nu/dgrg
  Replies (16) Good night (1614) Bad night (4227) Order T-Shirt
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.

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  (248): i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid. http://tfl.nu/t711
  Replies (33) Good night (8617) Bad night (935) Order T-Shirt
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.

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  (505): I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight. http://tfl.nu/l9kd
  Replies (5) Good night (3912) Bad night (738)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.

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  (604): He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there. http://tfl.nu/lavl
  Replies (10) Good night (1916) Bad night (499) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last

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  (410): i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last http://tfl.nu/j9db
  Replies (21) Good night (622) Bad night (3592) Order T-Shirt
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."

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  (606): I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening." http://tfl.nu/f5c0
  Replies (3) Good night (1342) Bad night (381)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"

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  (828): Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole" http://tfl.nu/3q74
  Replies (21) Good night (465) Bad night (1852) Order T-Shirt
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral

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  (503): On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral http://tfl.nu/aofs
  Replies (1) Good night (547) Bad night (209) Order T-Shirt
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?

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  (+44): are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper? http://tfl.nu/40vp
  Replies (3) Good night (375) Bad night (75) Order T-Shirt

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