They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
We left an ass print on the piano.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.