YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
27 Of The Most NSFW Life Hacks
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
23 Disturbing Small-Town Horror Stories
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Randomize
