Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?