If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
living well may be the best revenge, but it doesn't hurt that my exhusband is now dating a BEAST.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Randomize
