Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
So gin and wine won't be happening again
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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