Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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