I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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