my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
