Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
