I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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