i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
He got me to hold his phone, wallet, keys and pants while he hooked up with another girl.
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