Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
no you cant smoke seaweed
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Just had a talk about safe sex with my mom. Not about protection. About the very real possibility of a "penile fracture". Gotta love having a nurse for a mother.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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