At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
