so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
