What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
